it comes from there.

My mummy used to live in a very hard and tough days. My late grandpa was a principle and definitely fierce enough to make everyone afraid of him. Their era evolves with the trend of having 10 kids, and for mummy, she has to take care of 11 siblings without complaining. She sews, cooks and cleans. When her little brothers and sisters were born, she has to take the responsibility to look after them. Her role was exactly the same as a mother. Mummy has that maternal instinct and that’s why she managed to look after her little siblings very well. I salute her for what she had been through when she was young. And till now, she never fails to remind us to be moderate and don’t be so lavish. The hardship of hers made her strong and independent and I took it as lesson. Whenever she nags, it was for our own good. She sulks when everyone ignores here. She cried when she was hurt.  Mummy had enough of hardship when she was young, and I wish to untangle that into happiness.

15 years ago I used to participate in Chinese opera dancing, and also singing competition.

Though at the moment I don’t really understand what all those are, but I am proud to be seen on the stage. I remembered too during those days when my weight was like increased drastically, mummy sew me a nice dress for my singing competition since there was no dress that can fit my size. Mummy didn’t sleep for 2 days just to make my dress done. Everyone liked the dress I wore, and I just can say. I am proud to wear mummy’s hand piece.

We used to operate our own restaurant, called R&D Corner. It was 15 years ago and closed back then since no one is staying to run the business. Throughout the 7 years of operation, I remembered clearly mummy sacrificed her sleep just to make sure the foods were in great taste. She cooked all the meal as early of 4am. And she cleaned the floor and set the tables before handling over the tasks to the workers. I admit that, I seldom see her those days. Same goes to daddy. They both were still working to find for their monthly pay. Nevertheless, I don’t blame them for being away when I needed them cos I know; there is always time for them to spend make up their time for me. Kak big looked after me the most. And that’s why I am more closed to her. There were lots of crisis and problem. But I’d say it somewhat taught me a lot. I used to be a very spoilt brat just to be rebellious but deep inside my heart. I know what I did was wrong. I sometimes fought with mummy for not understanding me. Showed her my sour face and fought. I was so scared that thing happened again because I don’t want mummy to be upset. Slowly, I changed.

When the operation of our restaurant has come to the end, me and mummy became close again as I get to see her 24/7. No more rushing here and there. At the age of 16, I got 2news; my grandpa passed away and I got transferred to Kuching.  It was hard for me to leave my parents. But because of my studies and future, I ought to obey. 16 was the age where teenagers rebel. Since I was staying with my mama, I had to hide that feeling though sometimes I know I did hurt mama’s feeling. My bad side came out when mummy seldom call me. I cried and cried. My feelings were like tortured because I don’t dare to express my sadness. After 2 years, I’m back to KK and it was like a reunion when I get to stay with my mummy again. After my form 5, I spent most of my time with my daddy and we would be going here and there together. Mummy would say daddy had forgotten her once I come back since he has his companion. Unlike during usual days, daddy would be alone. I still remember before taking my SPM result, I told mummy I must tell daddy first. Mummy kept silent and cried. How bad I was for not considering her feeling. I’m sorry mummy. I still remember that day I made you cry. I didn’t mean to.

So after Kuching, I made my way to Labuan for my matriculation. I noticed that I was no more crying if mummy didn’t call me. Maybe I’m used to be distant from her. Even when I completed my matriculation, I choose the university which is far from home. Many people question me on this. My answer would be, “because my parents want me to be independent and explore more others’ culture”. I took it as a yes, and now I would like to thank my parents, mummy especially, for letting me go this far. Without your prayer and love, I won’t achieve what I have fought for. My success is for you and daddy.  I wish that I have made you and daddy proud of the first phase of my success. I love you both.  Thank you for bringing me into this world ma, and thanks for taking good care of my welfare, and never did hit me on any parts of my body nor to yell at me in public.

Speaking of yelling and hitting,

When I was shopping for groceries, I saw lots of parents buying things together with their kids. But there was 1 scene that really irritates my sight. It was when I heard a mother yelled and hit her daughter for blocking her mother checking on the green. I asked myself.

“is it a must to yell in public?? Don’t you think it was like a humiliation to you when people looking, nodding heads and judging on your acts? Or maybe you are proud enough that you can yell in public..”

It hits me when looking at such scenes. I may not a good aunt to my nephews and nieces but I’m not that type who likes to yell in public. I hate eye- catching scenes. I admit I do yell because I am impatient when come to kids. But I’d say, if it’s not coming from the practice at home, they won’t end up like that. I always remind myself never yell at my kids because it’s not the proper way of training them to respect you.

What’s going on to the world now? Why can’t the parents now educate their child as how our folks did? I hope someday when I have my own family, I really wish that I get to educate my kids as how my parents did.

I know you were trying hard to nourish me with everything. I’m sorry that I’ve becoming a spoilt brat. I admit that and I will take that as a motivation to get what I want. For what I achieved, I know it will never enough to repay your deed. May Allah the almighty bless you with the fortunes and rezeki, for becoming the best mother of mine in this world.  I love you mummy. Happy mother’s day to mummy; Hjh Rainah Abd Ghani. Not forgetting to ibu, mum, mama and umi. Love to you guys and also thanks for becoming mothers of mine too.