I ain't no teacher or tutor

I need time to really think what am I actually.

I'm a full time master student by research, majoring in simulation.

But I haven't get the title or whatsoever to be major in this simulation field. 

It hits me a little bit that these undergrad students kept texting me for my assistance. 

As far as I'm concerned, our late Prof only assigned me with two students which belonged to other supervisors. Prof is busy to teach this Arena thing. Come on. That you need to explore and more to self learning. 

Since Prof put them under me, so I have no excuse to reject. Guiding them was a bit challenging for me since I have zero knowledge in simulation. And only started with the models and scenarios related to my work. Previously Prof assigned a chinese girl to me. Alhamdulillah I managed to teach and corrected her model. Now she have graduated. Happy to know that and I can never ask anything in return.

As for these two, they are actually under Dr Ali and also Dr Ghazali. Dr Ali majors in mathematical optimization and he should be a bit familiar with Arena. On the other hand, Dr Ghazali knows nothing about this simulation. I know I'm not that really good in Arena but Prof always did give me his students.. I never realized how he wanted his "kids" to follow his footsteps. 

Now another girl texted me, saying she's a supervisee of Sir Hasahudin wanting me to teach and check her model. I laughed. I'm not a pro in simulation. and I am too still learning. 

My former degree supervisor did ask me and Mira about our plans after Masters. of course, the cliche answer is to work. He told us how Prof actually wanted us to form a simulation group. Deep down I know, he wants us to be here and continue his simulation legacy in UMP.

I remember telling Prof about his books with me, and he mentioned to return them back. He said "saya cari makan guna tu"... he repeat his words three times and that hit me hard as Prof said, "Awak tak nak kerja dengan simulation kan pasni?"... 

Sir Nazif words came back to me.. "kamu ni kejam la tak nak balik serve dekat FIM. Fac kita nazak da sekarang....Fac perlukan korang..."

I slowly realized.. Why Prof kept giving me students to teach. I remembered how he wanted us to stay. I now understand his plans for us, his "kids"..

If I have the rezeki, why not right? I really want that legacy to be instill here. I don't want it to vanish.

Pray for my journey to be a lecturer here. Even if I started as a tutor. I wouldn't mind. Because I have additional knowledge than other lecturers. (perasan)..

I may not be as the best as Prof, but I'm on my way to be one like Prof.